The men I have been "meeting" online lately are mostly asking for nude or dirty pictures or asking me insane questions like "So, how many guys here have seen your tits." It is ridiculous. But, I feel like the dating site I am on is a train wreck, yet I cannot pry my eyes away.
Here is what I wish the men on the dating site knew about me:
1. I have a brain, and I use it. I am smart. Probably smarter than you.
2. If you ask me straight up for a dirty pic, our conversation is over, and you're getting blocked.
3. Yes, sometimes, I am OK to talk about sex, but only after we've chatted about some more neutral subjects. Please keep it clean and respectful.
4. If you have a picture of yourself shirtless on your profile, I will laugh at you, maybe admire your muscles and tattoos and PASS YOU BY. Keep your shirts on, you vain dorks!
5. Just because I say I don't want anything serious does NOT mean that I'm down to just fuck any guy who offers. Because I am not a whore. Read that again: I am not a whore. If you want a female to do things with you and/or to you, best to just hire one. Why, you ask? See #1 of this list.
6. If you are unemployed, living in your parent's house or are an ex-con, this probably won't work out.
7. I do have feelings. Don't act like a dick.
8. If you have any type of grammatical or spelling errors in your profile, I will pass you by. Boom. No exceptions. Get a tutor.
9. If you have a picture of yourself throwing up deuces or a picture of your car/motorcycle/boat/etc on your profile, I will also ignore you and think bad thoughts.
10. If you have the balls to write me a message, I will respond. I will consider you. Promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment