I surely wouldn’t be at work today if it was the end of my
life here. I would see loved ones and deeply share my feelings and love with
them. I would go somewhere beautiful and marvel one last time at this
astounding world we live in. I’d take in the shades of green of various plants
and breath in this clean, sweet air. I’d wait for the sunset and enjoy the
final wake up of the stars. I would be mindful of the cool air on my skin, the
twinkle of stars in my eyes, the taste of a cup of coffee, the feel of my son’s
hand in mine, the sound of his breath, and the smell of his soft hair. It would
be all for that moment, my desire to take it all in would be focused and
intense.
As Christians, we are told not to worry about tomorrow, to
focus on the day we are living. But yet we are told that our only reward is
beyond the grave and that is where we should place our hope. How in the world
can I be mindful of the daily pleasures and chores but keep one eye on my
future and place all my eggs in that yet-to-be-seen basket?
I’m so sick of planning, wondering, foretelling, and
generally trying to forecast the next day, the next month, the next year. I don’t
want to have a 10 year plan. I am exhausted
of it.
As this summer is unfolding, I want to wake up each day with
a childlike excitement to see what the day brings. My son does not wake
dreading his days or dreading the future. He is not counting how many summer
days he has until he starts school again. He is too busy relishing his now. No
countdown needed. School will start; fall will come. But now. But now. But now.
May my now be my focus, captive to enjoy and suck the
marrow. There is beauty. Chase it. Plans be damned. Today, I like my now.
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